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    JANE EYRE - CHAPTER XXXVIII

    放大字體  縮小字體 發(fā)布日期:2005-03-23
      READER, I married him. A quiet wedding we had: he and I, the parson

    and clerk, were alone present. When we got back from church, I went

    into the kitchen of the manor-house, where Mary was cooking the dinner

    and John cleaning the knives, and I said-

       'Mary, I have been married to Mr. Rochester this morning.' The

    housekeeper and her husband were both of that decent phlegmatic

    order of people, to whom one may at any time safely communicate a

    remarkable piece of news without incurring the danger of having

    one's ears pierced by some shrill ejaculation, and subsequently

    stunned by a torrent of wordy wonderment. Mary did look up, and she

    did stare at me: the ladle with which she was basting a pair of

    chickens roasting at the fire, did for some three minutes hang

    suspended in air; and for the same space of time John's knives also

    had rest from the polishing process: but Mary, bending again over

    the roast, said only-

       'Have you, Miss? Well, for sure!'

       A short time after she pursued- 'I seed you go out with the master,

    but I didn't know you were gone to church to be wed;' and she basted

    away. John, when I turned to him, was grinning from ear to ear.

       'I telled Mary how it would be,' he said: 'I knew what Mr.

    Edward' (John was an old servant, and had known his master when he was

    the cadet of the house, therefore, he often gave him his Christian

    name)- 'I knew what Mr. Edward would do; and I was certain he would

    not wait long neither: and he's done right, for aught I know. I wish

    you joy, Miss!' and he politely pulled his forelock.

       'Thank you, John. Mr. Rochester told me to give you and Mary this.'

    I put into his hand a five-pound note. Without waiting to hear more, I

    left the kitchen. In passing the door of that sanctum some time after,

    I caught the words-

       'She'll happen do better for him nor ony o' t' grand ladies.' And

    again, 'If she ben't one o' th' handsomest, she's noan faal and

    varry good-natured; and i' his een she's fair beautiful, onybody may

    see that.'

       I wrote to Moor House and to Cambridge immediately, to say what I

    had done: fully explaining also why I had thus acted. Diana and Mary

    approved the step unreservedly. Diana announced that she would just

    give me time to get over the honeymoon, and then she would come and

    see me.

       'She had better not wait till then, Jane,' said Mr. Rochester, when

    I read her letter to him; 'if she does, she will be too late, for

    our honeymoon will shine our life long: its beams will only fade

    over your grave or mine.'

       How St. John received the news, I don't know: he never answered the

    letter in which I communicated it: yet six months after he wrote to

    me, without, however, mentioning Mr. Rochester's name or alluding to

    my marriage. His letter was then calm, and, though very serious, kind.

    He has maintained a regular, though not frequent, correspondence

    ever since: he hopes I am happy, and trusts I am not of those who live

    without God in the world, and only mind earthly things.

       You have not quite forgotten little Adele, have you, reader? I

    had not; I soon asked and obtained leave of Mr. Rochester, to go and

    see her at the school where he had placed her. Her frantic joy at

    beholding me again moved me much. She looked pale and thin: she said

    she was not happy. I found the rules of the establishment were too

    strict, its course of study too severe for a child of her age: I

    took her home with me. I meant to become her governess once more,

    but I soon found this impracticable; my time and cares were now

    required by another- my husband needed them all. So I sought out a

    school conducted on a more indulgent system, and near enough to permit

    of my visiting her often, and bringing her home sometimes. I took care

    she should never want for anything that could contribute to her

    comfort: she soon settled in her new abode, became very happy there,

    and made fair progress in her studies. As she grew up, a sound English

    education corrected in a great measure her French defects; and when

    she left school, I found in her a pleasing and obliging companion:

    docile, good-tempered, and well-principled. By her grateful

    attention to me and mine, she has long since well repaid any little

    kindness I ever had it in my power to offer her.

       My tale draws to its close: one word respecting my experience of

    married life, and one brief glance at the fortunes of those whose

    names have most frequently recurred in this narrative, and I have

    done.

       I have now been married ten years. I know what it is to live

    entirely for and with what I love best on earth. I hold myself

    supremely blest- blest beyond what language can express; because I

    am my husband's life as fully as he is mine. No woman was ever

    nearer to her mate than I am: ever more absolutely bone of his bone

    and flesh of his flesh. I know no weariness of my Edward's society: he

    knows none of mine, any more than we each do of the pulsation of the

    heart that beats in our separate bosoms; consequently, we are ever

    together. To be together is for us to be at once as free as in

    solitude, as gay as in company. We talk, I believe, all day long: to

    talk to each other is but a more animated and an audible thinking. All

    my confidence is bestowed on him, all his confidence is devoted to me;

    we are precisely suited in character-perfect concord is the result.

       Mr. Rochester continued blind the first two years of our union:

    perhaps it was that circumstance that drew us so very near- that

    knit us so very close: for I was then his vision, as I am still his

    right hand. Literally, I was (what he often called me) the apple of

    his eye. He saw nature- he saw books through me; and never did I weary

    of gazing for his behalf, and of putting into words the effect of

    field, tree, town, river, cloud, sunbeam- of the landscape before

    us; of the weather round us- and impressing by sound on his ear what

    light could no longer stamp on his eye. Never did I weary of reading

    to him; never did I weary of conducting him where he wished to go:

    of doing for him what he wished to be done. And there was a pleasure

    in my services, most full, most exquisite, even though sad- because he

    claimed these services without painful shame or damping humiliation.

    He loved me so truly, that he knew no reluctance in profiting by my

    attendance: he felt I loved him so fondly, that to yield that

    attendance was to indulge my sweetest wishes.

       One morning at the end of the two years, as I was writing a

    letter to his dictation, he came and bent over me, and said-

       'Jane, have you a glittering ornament round your neck?'

       I had a gold watch-chain: I answered 'Yes.'

       'And have you a pale-blue dress on?'

       I had. He informed me then, that for some time he had fancied the

    obscurity clouding one eye was becoming less dense; and that now he

    was sure of it.

       He and I went up to London. He had the advice of an eminent

    oculist; and he eventually recovered the sight of that one eye. He

    cannot now see very distinctly: he cannot read or write much; but he

    can find his way without being led by the hand: the sky is no longer a

    blank to him- the earth no longer a void. When his first-born was

    put into his arms, he could see that the boy had inherited his own

    eyes, as they once were- large, brilliant, and black. On that

    occasion, he again, with a full heart, acknowledged that God had

    tempered judgment with mercy.

       My Edward and I, then, are happy: and the more so, because those we

    most love are happy likewise. Diana and Mary Rivers are both

    married: alternately, once every year, they come to see us, and we

    go to see them. Diana's husband is a captain in the navy, a gallant

    officer and a good man. Mary's is a clergyman, a college friend of her

    brother's, and, from his attainments and principles, worthy of the

    connection. Both Captain Fitzjames and Mr. Wharton love their wives,

    and are loved by them.

       As to St. John Rivers, he left England: he went to India. He

    entered on the path he had marked for himself; he pursues it still.

    A more resolute, indefatigable pioneer never wrought amidst rocks

    and dangers. Firm, faithful, and devoted, full of energy, and zeal,

    and truth, he labours for his race; he clears their painful way to

    improvement; he hews down like a giant the prejudices of creed and

    caste that encumber it. He may be stern; he may be exacting; he may be

    ambitious yet; but his is the sternness of the warrior Greatheart, who

    guards his pilgrim convoy from the onslaught of Apollyon. His is the

    exaction of the apostle, who speaks but for Christ, when he says-

    'Whosoever will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his

    cross and follow me.' His is the ambition of the high master-spirit,

    which aims to fill a place in the first rank of those who are redeemed

    from the earth- who stand without fault before the throne of God,

    who share the last mighty victories of the Lamb, who are called, and

    chosen, and faithful.

       St. John is unmarried: he never will marry now. Himself has

    hitherto sufficed to the toil, and the toil draws near its close:

    his glorious sun hastens to its setting. The last letter I received

    from him drew from my eyes human tears, and yet filled my heart with

    divine joy: he anticipated his sure reward, his incorruptible crown. I

    know that a stranger's hand will write to me next, to say that the

    good and faithful servant has been called at length into the joy of

    his Lord. And why weep for this? No fear of death will darken St.

    John's last hour: his mind will be unclouded, his heart will be

    undaunted, his hope will be sure, his faith steadfast. His own words

    are a pledge of this-

       'My Master,' he says, 'has forewarned me. Daily He announces more

    distinctly,- "Surely I come quickly!" and hourly I more eagerly

    respond,- "Amen; even so come, Lord Jesus!"'
     
     

                              THE END

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